My little man is turning 4!!

Hey everyone,


I hope you have all had a good couple weeks! The time literally feels like it has flown by since I wrote my last blog post!


BUT HOW IS IT NEARLY APRIL!
ALSO HOW ON EARTH IS MY LITTLE MAN TURNING 4 TOMORROW!!!!


Yes.... It's Jackson's 4th birthday tomorrow and I really can't believe it. I know that's what happens ... Children get older and people with kids think parents are crazy when they go on and on about how fast time goes when you have kids but it really feels like the last 4 years has gone by at the speed of light! This time 4 years ago little did I know.....  In around 8 hours time I would be going into labour!! (11 days early JACKSON MILLER!)  :P
He was amazing to me and he arrived in 4 hours and 13 minutes which was great. 6am - 10:13am and it was all done! What a good little lad. He's great to his Mummy  :)


I've felt a little down this week... Its really silly as Jackson is absolutely fine and happy but I feel sad as Jackson doesn't know its his Birthday. He isn't aware at all about it. He actually has no idea which makes me sad. I know I'm being silly as he's such a happy little boy and he still loves opening the presents (Well gets me to open them for him) Which is so lovely as he sits on my lap and gives me more affection as his face lights up with all 'The Twirlywoo's' Merchandise! (CRAZY FOR 'THE TWIRLYWOOS')
I just don't want him to miss out or feel anything any different or any less loved than any other child. I know I sound crazy... I just want to make sure that Jackson feels loved and make sure he's happy. He is my number one priority and I would go to the ends of the earth for him.


Why does everything feel so much more intense and out of control at night? Last night at 1am I was woken by Jackson being sick and I just go into panic mode!!!!!! Spring out of bed to make sure he's ok. Its so odd... During the day I could cope better but at night it just makes you feel like some sleepy zombie mummy and you rush around like a lunatic! ( This might just be me :P)
Trying to bath Jackson, Wash Clothes/Duvet/Pillows/Sheets and scrub carpets and mattress toppers whilst trying to calm Jackson down is just mayhem!!! Thank god for The Twirlywoo's they really are a life saver :D
How we have both managed to stay up all day I don't know!
We had a little Birthday today for Jackson at my Parents with my family as Jackson has Nursery tomorrow and then he is off to his Dad's with his side of the family for the late afternoon and evening.
So Jackson gets 2 birthdays, 2 lots of presents and 2 lots of Cake!! Which cant be bad! I think he had a great day even if he didn't know what it was or what It was for. He makes me so proud :D

Last week I took Jackson to Soft Play. It was great just me and my little man. I thought we would get there for 10am.... Nice and early.... Beat the mayhem......


NOT A CHANCE! What day did I pick....  £2 entry day!!!!!
It was packed already and it got busier and busier.
I don't mind it too much but I just thought it would be nice to go there when it was quiet so we could run around together without screaming children everywhere!! Jackson prefers a bit of calm sometimes as it can get a little overwhelming for him. (At Nursery when he needs to get away from the madness he takes himself to the 'Baby Room' and chills out in there with the youngsters! Nice and peaceful with the babies)
So yeah my planned failed as it was crazy. Kids screaming, Running around, Bumping into each other.... Its like they get given a load of Smarties at the door as they are coming in :P


Jackson found some big blocks and started to make the letter C and G so he had his quiet time which was great. I was terrified of any child stealing blocks out of his letters!!!! Meltdown would occur... I just gave any child 'The Look' if they put there hands on the letters!! I just kept thinking its for your own good child.... You may be wearing this letter if you take a block from it!!!
They left him to it... Thank god!

I always look like the crazy Mum at Soft Play... Mum's are sat down drinking tea together and having a good chat... There's me trying to fit my massive butt through the tunnels and other kids queueing behind me trying to push past as I'm going so slow!! Me trying to squeeze through tiny gaps and getting out of breath chasing Jackson around constantly for an hour ... Up and Down the slides! ( I must stop eating so much!!!) SO UNFIT!!! I'm sure I did well on my Fitbit that day! Makes it look like I'm more active than I really am! BONUS :P




Jackson loves feeding Dexter Gravy Bones at the moment... He goes into the kitchen and stares at Dexter's cupboard and shouts ' DD's Bones' ( DD is Dexter.... Dexter Davies) He's taken Ryan's last name which isn't fair.. He should definitely be a Love!
But I lost that battle... :(
Jackson used to constantly stand by the food cupboard and ask for Mini Rolls or chocolate buttons... Now he asks for Dexter's bones!
He loves saying 'DD SIT, DD PAW, DD BONE!!!' Makes him laugh so much its so cute! Dexter isn't complaining he gets like 10 gravy bones a day!! Maybe have to get him low fat ones if this carries on :P Tubby DD... Like his Mumma :P




This weekend is my Balloon-A-Thon for The National Autistic Society so IM REALLY hoping for good weather! PLEASE stay dry and not rain!!!! Its way to much to ask of this country!
Fingers crossed it all goes well... I'm kinda nervous......
Wish me luck!!


Thank you for reading.
Kelly and Jackson
XxxxxX

When the days are tough...

This was really tough week. It was disaster from the word go to be quite honest.
 Jackson wasn't quite himself with a cold and a horrible cough.
 I went to pick him up from his Dad's house at 7am on Monday morning and from that moment Jackson didn't seem himself. He knew straight away that the routine had changed. We had a Communication Workshop this afternoon instead of Nursery.
We got home after driving back from his Dads and Jackson was looking for all his 'Twirlywoo's' and 'Great Big Hoo' was nowhere to be found! OMG disaster! (It really is a disaster in Jackson's mind) He needs the whole set to be there.
 I must of left him at my Mum's house on Thursday. Jackson was so upset continuingly asking for 'Great Big Hoo'
 I managed to get us ready in all the upset and out of the house quickly and stop off at my Mum's on the way to my Nan and Grandad'd house.
But that also didn't go down well as then he thought we were going to my parents instead of my Nan's! Rookie mistake!!!
Jackson was so upset and didn't even want Great Big Bloody Hoo anymore!! I didn't realise that that would set him off even more.
The whole day Jackson was getting worse... Crying constantly. Jackson really doesn't deal with change well at all. I felt so bad as in his mind this was all such a big deal. Meltdown after meltdown.
We thought we might be able to calm him down for a walk in a pushchair ... No such luck! Screamed and Screamed the WHOLE way. By this time he was so tired from crying all day and not wanting to eat. He passed out on the sofa at 2:30pm. We couldn't go to the Workshop in the end anyway.
3pm came and I was taking Jackson to his 'Bampy's' house ( His Dad's Dad).
After being woken by arriving at his house after an hour or so Jackson calmed down and things were back to normal.... Back to Jackson's normal routine. His whole world just went back to normal and he was happy. Thank god! All I want is for Jackson to be happy and I know its really hard for him.
We were all glad Monday was over! Monday really lived up to its crappy title!!

I always think that Jackson and Dexter plot to need/go to the loo every time I sit down to have my dinner!! One or the other... They take it in turns 'Your turn tonight' Lets annoy Mummy and make her food get really cold! Cheers boys.


Jackson actually astounds me everyday with his intelligence! Today we were driving back from Nursery and Jackson was sat in his car seat saying the 11 Times Table! Incredible.
He is going to fly at school! We just need that extra one to one help for him and things will be perfect. He really is my little superstar.




Wednesday arrived and Jackson wasn't good again. I had to work and I felt so bad leaving him with my Nan and Grandad as I really didn't know how he was going to be and if we had a repeat of Monday then I would come straight home from work to help.
Jackson had this rubbish cold dragging him down. My poorly boy. Jackson doesn't understand when he's unwell.
I bought him some new clothes on Tuesday which he refused to wear and started off his meltdown before I had even left the house. It wasn't too loud, Different to what I normally buy for him or anything but it was new and Jackson knew that.
Calpol was the life saver today! Oh and Bubbles.... Not sure who likes them more though.. Dexter or Jackson. 1 hour of blowing bubbles!! Whatever it takes for Jackson to be happy with this horrible cold.


I had ordered a few things from Amazon which the App said they had been delivered today. Got home and they were nowhere to be found. Emailed Amazon as I was panicking and they emailed back saying they are in number 2!
So went across the road to collect it all. Had an embarrassing moment when I realised on the label it said 'Deliver to Nigel at No. 2 if no one is in'
I don't know if he's called Nigel I just had to put a name down to make it out like I know them for them to take the delivery! No wonder they were looking at me like I was a crazy women!!

This week has been a little annoying and pretty tough as little man hasn't been well at all. Screaming most days and ALOT of meltdowns.
 We have had 4pm Danger naps, I brought the wrong sized Twirlywoo Duvet Cover ( Which Jackson still seems to love.. Just hope he doesn't grow too much otherwise he will get cold feet!)  I also thought you get 2 months off a year on the Council Tax ..... Turns out I DON'T!! How annoying! I was looking forward to extra money for 2 months. Its been a long week. This week has felt really challenging. But that's something that I will get used to.


Every week can't be a walk in the park... That goes with being a parent of any child. But you live and you learn daily being a Mum to an Autistic Child.
Everyday is a school day. But I wouldn't have it any other way.


Thanks for reading.
Follow us on Instagram  - http://instagram.com/kellylove3113




Kelly and Jackson
XxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

Reached My Goal!!!!

 

 Hello  😄


This week I was SUPER happy I reached my target of £500 for The National Autistic Society. Seriously over the moon! They are such an Incredible Charity.
I can't thank everyone enough for their donations. I'm so thankful for everyone's support.
I'm really looking forward to my event now.
3 Weeks tomorrow! Quite worried though. I've never done anything like this before I just hope everything goes to plan and nothing goes wrong!


This week we haven't had as many appointments or workshops so its been quite a nice chilled one compared to other weeks.
I met with Jackson's portage worker for a cuppa and a catch up about my school visits on Tuesday and Jackson had Portage on Thursday as normal.
Jackson was feeling a little under the weather on Thursday and our Portage worker got to see the other side to Jackson ( As normally he's a bloody angel for her!)
So it was good for her to see Jackson's Meltdown/Tantrum side when he doesn't get his own way or doesn't understand. He likes to throw things or hit out when he's frustrated which can be really challenging.
 Jackson finds visual aids a lot easier to understand so Jackson's Portage worker is going to make us a now and then board with lots of pictures on of Family, Friends, Things he does and places Jackson goes to so we can let Jackson know early on what's happening to prevent any upset or stress.


On Wednesday night Jackson was screaming and wouldn't settle and I had no idea why. It was so stressful as sometimes he will work himself up about something and not be able to explain what's wrong. So after a looooooooooooooooong time.... I figured out what was up.... I had the wrong duvet cover on.
He wanted Mickey Mouse and I had one with cars and trucks on! He was just so upset by this duvet cover! ( He's had it on so many times before) But just decided it wasn't right and it sent him into a tail spin!
Poor little man. That side of things is so difficult as its so hard to understand. In his mind it really is a big deal and It really does stress him out.
Each day is a school day for me! I'm learning so much about Autism and its becoming easier to understand how Jackson's mind works the more I learn. I've still got a long way to go!!

On Wednesday when I went to collect Jackson from his Great Nanny and Great Grandad's house after work we made 'Cars' Cakes which was great fun. Jackson is becoming more aware and more interested in doing more things like that now which is great. He repeats everything I say and runs around the living room in-between Mixing, Cooking and Icing shouting each step! It was so sweet. I  Love his passion and excitement for things!

 The only issue we had if any mixture gets on his hands! He absolutely hates anything on his hands! He used to rub it off in his hair so I'm so glad he doesn't do that anymore!! Used to have Quavers in his hair all the time 😂 Little monkey.

We have had quite a good week this week. We have another Communication Workshop on Monday afternoon which is great for Jackson. Its great to meet other parents in the same situation as me and get tips from each other and share stories. There is a lovely couple with a little boy who Jackson seemed to show a little interest in last time! They held hands for only like a minute whilst Jackson was on a space hopper. It wasn't for long but that really is progress! It was amazing to see so I'm hoping I can get their number. Maybe I have found Jackson's first proper little friend.

Thanks for reading. I hope you're all are having a great weekend.

Kelly and Jackson

XxxxxxxxxX

Busy Bees

Hey 😄


This week has been so jam packed with appointments and all sorts! I was shattered by Friday evening. I actually slept the whole night through which is so rare.
Monday was the dreaded shoe measuring day which really isn't fun at all... Normally ends with constant screaming and sensory overload as it really is crazy busy in there some days. Children and parents everywhere!! Colours, Bright lights... All too much and its asking for a sensory overload!
Jackson absolutely hates people he doesn't know touching and holding his feet and legs to get the measurement and well he always gets worse and worse the more we stay in there. Its so stressful for both Jackson and I!!
So this time my Nan (LIFE SAVER) found a number I could call and that way we can book in advance and go into a separate room and the guy that measures kids feet has an Autistic son so knows how to be calm. So all went well this time. He had a little wobbly but nothing like he normally has.. It was nice and quiet in the shop anyway and Jackson's feet hadn't even grown at all  ( We think because the lady over shot it last time.. Not her fault of course as Jackson was screaming and kicking like she was attacking him) She probably wondered what other people were thinking!
So that saved me running around the shop chasing Jackson with his new shoes on like a headless chicken as we didn't have to get any shoes! Going back in a month.
It was lovely to get home and do some Twirlywoo Colouring with my little man after all of that.. It wasn't as stressful last time but even taking Jackson somewhere without a pushchair can be quite stressful as you never know if he will have a meltdown or not! So I was happy to get home... I love colouring.... ( I think I enjoy the colouring more than he does) Jackson turns the pages over half way through my masterpieces! Probably wonders why I'm so keen!!
I was just so excited for Jacksons bedtime as he was so whingey by 7:30pm and it was 'The Walking Dead' tonight! My FAV!!!


EARLY START to Tuesday morning! 5:30am thanks for that Jackson!!!! Jackson cant switch his brain off some nights and will be shouting about the Alphabet, Numbers, Shapes and even the 2 times table!! He's just so bloody clever! Too clever as I think he knows a lot more than he lets on.


He went back to sleep until around 7:30am which was great but I had to get him out of bed as we had to get into Wells by 9:30am for Occupational Therapy! I managed to bribe him with 'Shapes' Which is the Rice Krispie Multi-Grain shapes to get him out of bed. He loves food which is plain and anything to do with Numbers, Letters and Shapes!


(Potato letters are a great hit so that's something I can rely on for Dinner!!) Even though my local Tesco has decided to stop selling them!!!! I'm going to have to find another source and FAST!


Occupational Therapy was really good and really interesting. Lots of good tips and tricks to get Jackson out of his really rigid eating. A few sessions in the near future also with other mums and their children so I'm looking forward to that as Jacksons eating has worried me so much. He really only has around 10 items of food he will eat.. EVER!


The Evening ended up with 'Daddy Ryan' cooking us all pancakes... Well not Jackson! He was more interested in watching Ryan flip the pancakes, Sticking his hands in the Sugar (Then hating it being on his hands) and force feeding me Pancakes!!  I have no skills in the kitchen whatsoever! I really don't belong in the kitchen.. But its quite good as that's one thing I don't have to do! Ryan does the cooking and I love the break to get on with other things! He's AMAZING!




Wednesday was work and my eye test .. So apparently my left eye is just crap and isn't doing its job right. My poor right eye has to do all the work which is giving me headaches so watch this space.. New glasses arriving on the weekend! I just cant wait to get rid of the shitty headaches and being able to see ( I'm struggling to write this blog right now... Squinting at the screen!)
 I really am feeling 30 creeping up on me lately!!!!  I had to buy new make-up recently to help hide my tired eye bags ... But it seems like nothing can hide them! Just the way my face looks! People keep saying ' Aww Kelly you look so tired' .... Well yeah I am but its just my face now!


We Visited a couple schools on Friday and I've found the one I want Jackson to go to!! Fingers crossed that he can get into it.. So much to hope for .... No sleep for me until April when we find out! The waiting game is really bloody hard! 2017 has just been a massive waiting game for so many different things. I just really want to find a school for Jackson that he will be happy in. I cant believe my little man is starting School this year! It really is crazy. Time really does fly.




At the weekend whilst Jackson was with his Dad's side of the family.  Ryan and I decide to go to Weston for a browse and we promised Dexter we would pop into 'Pets At Home' to get him a new toy (which he will drive me insane squeaking it constantly and I will put it on the shelf eventually.. Confiscated like a naughty child and then give it back to him when I'm in a better mood )
So we did what we had to do and before we left we popped in quickly and Dexter's little face lit up!
Off he ran.. Pulling us inside the doors... Then....
What did he do.... a MASSIVE POO in the shop!! OMG I was so embarrassed!! The girl behind the till looking at us like we have this uncontrollable dog!!!
This isn't the first time either... He has done that in Yeovil 'Pets At Home' as well!! But I blamed it on Ryan for not letting him out before we left. But no... For some reason Dexter treats their shop as a massive toilet!!! No more 'Pets At Home' visits for a while now!!


Looking forward to seeing what next week brings us ...
I hope you have enjoyed reading about our week.
Thanks for reading.
Kelly and Jackson. xxxxxxxxx

Sleepy Mumma

I had written this blog post a week ago but I have now got a laptop! Yay! So I can now blog properly on blogger.com which is the one I've wanted to blog on for ages but couldn't on a mobile device. So this a little bit on what happened last week....

My god this week has felt looooooong! It just seemed like it went on forever!!
I'm being rubbish on blogging all the time aswell! It's finding the time! By 8pm on a weekday I'm shattered and wanting my bed 😴😴
Glad it's now the weekend and I can enjoy reading a new book and just chilling. The weather is going to be rubbish as well so home it is 🏡 📖☕️❤
Everything just seems like it goes at 100 miles an hour with everything to do with sorting out Jackson an EHC plan and sorting out which school to go to. Booking school visits and also weekly appointments and check ups!
I feel mentally and physically drained by the end of the week! 😧

Jackson has been a little star again this week! ⭐️
What he has to do on a weekly basis with appointments and workshops I'm just so proud of him.
He also learnt to do Dot-To-Dot this week and was amazing at it! He doesn't normally have the patience with things like this so it was amazing he sat down and
He's incredible with Numbers, Letters, Shapes, Colours and anything educational 💙
He loves that Numbers, Shapes, Colours and Letters are always the same 💜 Keeps in with his love of routine and safety.
He also did a colouring as well! Coloured in the whole rocket!
I was so shocked! He doesn't normally sit still for anything and always has to be standing or running around and he sat down and really enjoyed himself ❤ My Amazing little man 👦🏼
We have an Occupational Therapy Appointment on Tuesday so I'm really looking forward to that 😊

Jacksons very rigid in what he eats and touches. Anything messy that stays on his hands is a massive no no! So this will be a really interesting person to see for Jackson.

I'm so lucky to have so many amazing people and professionals involved with Jacksons care ❤
I'm truly grateful ❤
Thanks For Reading!

Kelly and Jackson
XxxxxxxxxX

Fundraising for NAS

Hey Everyone 😊

So it's been a month since my son's diagnosis. It's still tough to come to terms with.. Still sinking in that my son has a life long condition.
This month I've felt inspired! Doing lots of Day to day research on Autism to make my sons life the best I can possibly make it. I went onto the National Autistic Society's Website and came across World Autism Awareness Week.
Straight away was really keen to fundraise and create awareness of autism.
So I've been planning on what to do and how to do it all.
I've set up an event plus a Just Giving page ❤
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Kelly-Love31

Already raised £370.76 in the first 3 weeks so I'm so pleased and happy! Hoping to reach £500 by April 2nd 👍🏼😊
I've never done anything like this before so I was very nervous about it all and I'm hoping I can pull off doing an event!!
I just want to help raise awareness of autism and help those who have autism and families around the world ❤
UNTIL EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS 🌈

I've had lots of help for my little man this week too ❤ Our Portage worker came over and my little man was amazing ❤ I'm so proud of him. She helps Jackson with play and understanding. Visual aids is our way of communicating and it's working so well. Not as many meltdowns now.
Proud mummy moment!! 👦🏼
Thank you for reading 😊
Kelly and Jackson ❤👦🏼👩🏽 xxxxxxxxxx

The day of the diagnosis

On Friday the 3rd February 2017 my little super star was diagnosed with Autism.
I knew it was coming but I still cried (crazy mummy hormones) ... Not because my son is autistic but because as a parent you want your child to live the best, longest, happiest possible life they can live.
As he's only 3 years and 10 months he's on the Spectrum for Autism as we still don't know how 'normal' of a life he can lead. Be independent?! Go to a main stream school?!
So many questions and unanswerable questions are racing through my mind. Even though I've wanted this diagnosis for a long time it's still like I'm in limbo. So maybe I will back track a little bit and let you know about my little bundle of joy ❤
Jackson was born 31/03/2013 at 10:13am 🐣 A VERY cold Easter Sunday morning ❄️ A de-icing kinda morning (not what you need when you are basically dying and rolling around in the road) It was a SUPER quick speedy delivery of 4 hours! Literally fell head over heels in love from the moment I saw him ❤
Jackson was a normal baby, Doing everything a baby should do by all the milestones up until 1 years old 😊
He's always been so happy and joyful.
It wasn't until he went to nursery January 2016 where they picked up that he was very different.
I've been kinda kicking myself for ages ... How did I not pick up before last year that there was something different about my son.
Well the truth is I did know that something was not quite right but being a first time mum and actually not knowing anything about babies or children before I had Jackson I just thought maybe he was just delayed at Speech and Language. He will get there ...
I think I will always kick myself for not doing something sooner but now we have the diagnosis I know that Jacksons care is going in the right direction 👍🏼😊 We have so many amazing people involved right now! I'm so grateful 👦🏼
I'm going to blog daily about Jackson's day to day life now and before the diagnosis. It will be nice for me to reach out to parents in the same situation and also write about what's happening to help myself 😊👦🏼 Friday 3rd February was a BIG day!
I'm still processing everything in my mind and coming to terms with it. But I do know that I am going to make Jacksons life the best I can impossibly make it! He is my little superstar and every single day he makes my life worth living.

Thank you for reading 📖 I hope you continue to join us on our journey,
Kelly and Jackson
xxxx 👩🏽👦🏼